My Little Secret

In February, which seems like forever ago, I wrote a post entitled Random Thoughts in which I mentioned that I had decided to add an 'Unread' category to Stanza (my iPhone reading app).

Well I did that. And the count was 127… *faints* And then I went out and bought two more books! Which is, of course, totally the correct response when one has 127 unread books on the reading device! As of today the count still stands at 127 because I've manged to read two books on the Unread list, including the just finished Prey (Andrea Speed). But upon finishing Prey I decided to re-read (for the third time) Rolf & Ranger's Three Traders...I don't think I'm ever going to get that number down!
 

So, spillage time! How many unread (I originally wrote undread….LOL!) books do you have? And, if one has unread books, should one set up a rule – read one new book, one unread book…or should that be, one new book, two (or three) unread books…or one new book or re-read, two (or three) unread books…. GULP!

Blurting

So much for my great plans at the beginning of the month in which I hoped to be online a bit more :( The best laid plans of mice and men I guess...

I was in the process of writing another post entirely. Hopefully I'll post that on Sunday. It's more happy happy and about books. This...this is just me blurting out what's in my head. In my favourite series - Falls Chance Ranch (FCR) - one of the characters (Flynn) tells another (Dale) to just blurt out what's in his head when he's chewing on something. That is doesn't have to be right. He (Dale) just has to get it out and then they can sort it out. Together. So that's what this is...

The last two days have been...horrible (in a word). Horrible in that I've been dealing with issues - issues that have cropped up before - on behalf of a particular family member who is unable to advocate for herself. And...I just feel like I'm drowning. I realized tonight that I don't want to do this any more. I don't want to be the go-to person. The constant responsibility is...so heavy; I don't feel like I have time to breathe. I'm either all go or all stop. Plus, it annoys me no end that, according to the Government, I deserve absolutely no remuneration for all of the time and effort advocating for this family member entails. I'm not asking for squillions. Just for some recognition from them that this advocacy role is important. That what I do is important. And valued. (Not by the family member who doesn't understand this at all, but by...I don't know....others?) It probably wouldn't be so bad if this was a short-term advocacy. But it won't be. It will be decades. And if I had time to be an advocate, instead of having to squeeze it in among everything else. The thing is, I made a promise to my mother that I wouldn't spend my life looking after various family members. And while I don't on a day-to-day basis I do...look after them. Their finances. Their health and welfare.I'm their advocate for all of this. And every so often (like on Wednesday afternoon) it all blows up in my face and I realize beneath the small mess is numerous small messes And larger messes. And I know the unnamed expert keeps telling me that I have to learn that I don't need to do everything now, but...it just sits there and it nags and nags and nags at me. And I have to do it because if I don't it's there and I can't sleep and my diet goes out the window because I stress eat. And I have to sort...it. Everything. It's times like this that I realize I have no resilience - if a family issue raises its head I fall apart just like that. Obviously family is a trigger. But there is no one else to do this. Unless it's a stranger. And then I feel guilty that I could even think (even for an instant) about walking away.

I don't think there is an answer. I can't click my fingers and have this all be sorted. Or be magically transported to FCR. Or suddenly get my job. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And part of me will want to delete this post. Or try and excuse it tomorrow. But...it's where my head is at now. But overnight I'll put my Pollyanna hat on, and tomorrow will be a new day. The issues are under control. For now. So I can enjoy the weekend. But I have a list of things that need to be done next week. Because people don't often do what they say they will so I have to follow up. And don't be surprised if I finish my current book and you see my re-reading one of the FCR books. Because if I can't transport myself there literally, then perhaps I can do so figuratively *grin*

The Earth Isn't Flat

No sirree it's not. Which means I haven't fallen over the edge. I've just been...not online so much of late. March was a....messy month. And by messy I mean I just seemed to spend a lot of time attempting to make my 'to do' list smaller and getting to the end of the month and looking back and not really feeling like I had got anywhere. Story of my life.

But...it's April, so I figured I could start over :) So, here's me, hoping to be online a bit more this month than I was last month. 'Cause, it's not like I can use the falling off the edge of world excuse :)

So, what have you been up to in the last month?

Books 2013: February Update

Total: 10 books (five books in February: m/m [four books]; urban fantasy [one book])

The 2013 M/M Romance Challenge total: eight books (four books in February)

A list of all the books I've read to date (from 01 January 2010) can be found at GoodReads.

Favourite book in January? I don't know if I had one...

Currently reading: Collision Course (KA Mitchell)

And the books I'm most looking forward to reading this month?

* Dirty Laundry (Heidi Cullinan)

* And more Sterek fanfic! (Quel surprise!)

So, what did you read last month?

The Bear Essentials

Before you all get up in arms about my utilization of the word 'Bear' in the title of this post, there is method to my madness (isn't there always :) I was going to post an 80s song for your delectation, but the advertisement before the song caught my eye. You see, the national carrier, Air New Zealand, has been creating some rather interesting safety videos...probably in an effort to get people to actually think about aircraft safety. There has been the Richard Simmons safety video, The Hobbit safety video...and now Bear Grylls...



And in case you're wondering, the rather large bird is a moa...they're (supposedly) extinct...

Random Thoughts

Last year the lovely Cyphomandra, who I am lucky to call a good friend, wrote a novella for Yuletide called Somehow. It is based on The Bagman's Gambit by The Decemberists. I finished it this morning and...oh it's good. I loved the characters and the plot twists...and if you feel like reading something different I would definitely recommend it! (FYI - Cyphomandra recommended that I listen to the song first - I read the lyrics *grin* - and it definitely helped set the scene!)

 

I'm curious - how do you track books...not the ones that you haven’t read yet (GoodReads helps with that :), but the books you’ve bought but haven’t read yet? Cyphomandra and I caught up on the weekend and started discussing this subject...I've decided to add an 'Unread' category to Stanza, which still works with the iPhone 6.1 update - YAH!

 

Which leads me to...Marvin. I'm guessing not many of you read on your iPhone/iPad, but over the weekend I discovered a new ePub app for the iPad - Marvin! There is no iPhone app...yet...but it looks like it might be a suitable (in my eyes :) replacement for Stanza! *fingers crossed* No idea if there is to be an Android option, but the developer appears to be open to suggestions on the forum I read about it on :)

 

Yesterday I finished reading Ilona Andrews' Gunmetal Magic. I adore that there is a gay character in the Kate Daniels series. And I love how seamlessly he appears and how seamlessly his orientation is accepted by the other characters. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like how various authors are…so open and inclusive (apologies - I'm having problems articulating this point). And I must say, I love Barbaras! And I want more of him. I also want more Derek. Obviously now I get to drool over Derek two-fold – in this series and in the Teen Wolf TV show. Which has me thinking of Stiles...

 

I can’t go a post without mentioning Sterek now, can I?

 

And finally...I think I’m going to reduce my GR challenge target to 75 books. I’m already, according to the ‘schedule’ six books behind….and since I’ll likely be reading more Sterek fanfic that won’t change…and I’d rather not put more pressure on myself to catch up… No thinking, I've done it! My GoodReads 2013 Reading Challenge total is now 75 books...which means I'm three books behind schedule... *heads desk*

 

So, what random things have you discovered this week?

To Edit Or Not To Edit

That is the question. Well...kind of. See, I just finished reading a book. An eBook to be precise. (Unless you avoid me like the plague *grin* you probably have a fair idea as to which book I'm referring to...but in the interests of fairness I won't mention it by name. And for the purposes of this post it doesn't matter - this is one of those generic posts :) Anyway, this book had me asking myself that very question almost the whole way through. I'm sure the book was edited...but just not in the manner to which I have become accustomed...

There were misspelt words - 'a heard of alpacas' was my personal favourite - and missing words (although I've come to realize that it must be a North American trait to say 'a couple days' rather than 'a couple of days', so I'm not counting that :) and extra words. Not everywhere, but there were far more examples than I would usually expect from any published book. And it was very distracting. Because I found myself correcting the editing in my head rather than just enjoying the story.

So, I'm curious, what are your thoughts on editing issues? Do they drive you nuts or do you just ignore them? And...if you rate your books at GoodReads or LibraryThing or another similar site, do you grade down a book for editing issues? In the case above I didn't.